


Mac Makes Amends

by InsanityRule



Series: It's Always Sunny Script Fics [5]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Illiteracy, Mac and Charlie are bros, mac and charlie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/InsanityRule
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the time things don't come back to bite any of the Gang. Most of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mac Makes Amends

[5:20 pm.]  
[On a Friday.]  
[Philadelphia, PA.]

[Paddy’s Pub.]  
[Dennis and Mac burst into the door.]  
Mac: Guys! Guys we got a check!  
Dee: For what?  
[Charlie emerges from the basement, rat stick in hand.]  
Dennis: Our very successful book has found its target audience. We got a check from the publishing company!  
Dee: Woah, shit guys. How much?  
Dennis: Doesn’t matter. We’re gonna be rich! People love it!  
Dee: No shit. No shit, I knew our stuff would sell. Where’s my cut?  
Dennis: [Sighs.] Fine. Fine here. [Hands a check to Dee.] We need to talk about Charlie’s cut though.  
Charlie: Oh shit, I got money? Sweet.  
Dennis: Yeah, see, you’re getting an even share which, honestly that’s just not fair. You barely wrote anything and the shit you did give us to put in there was absolute garbage.  
Charlie: Hey, I did plenty of good stuff for the book.  
Dee: No, see the chapter is by Cat.  
Charlie: What?  
Dee: Cat, the author of those chapters you ‘wrote’. Looks like we need to find this Cat and get them their money.  
Charlie: No, Mac helped me with that part man! See, let me get the book dude.  
[Charlie runs off and gets the bar’s copy from the office.]  
Charlie: See, here. [Flips around until he finds some of his symbols.] Here! By Charlie!  
Dee: That says Cat.  
Charlie: No, see you’re pronouncing it wrong. And you call me illiterate.  
Dennis: Yes, we do, and for good reason. See, that word is Cat. Your name is way longer than that dude. And more than double the letters.  
[Charlie’s getting frustrated.]  
Dee: Yeah that definitely says Cat. Unless you want to go by Cat now.  
Dennis: Yeah, now it’s Cat work.  
Dee: Frank and Cat live together.  
Dennis: Cat can’t read.  
Charlie: Damnit Mac! [Throws the book at Mac.] Dude you’re the worst!  
Mac: Oh come on Charlie it’s not that bad.  
Charlie: Dude! The whole world is reading this! They’re going to think I’m an idiot!  
[No one says anything.]  
Charlie: My name’s not Cat dude! Jesus I thought we were friends!  
Mac: Woah, Charlie I think you’re overreacting.  
Charlie: You’re overacting!  
[Charlie runs off to the office.]  
[Mac follows.]  
[Charlie is going into the vent.]  
Mac: Charlie are you serious? C’mon it’s not that bad.  
Charlie: Leave me alone dude. [Crawls away.]  
Mac: Charlie! God damn it Charlie!  
[Mac returns to the main room.]  
Dee: Holy shit that was awesome.  
Dennis: I forgot you did that dude. Where’s Charlie?  
Mac: Bad room.  
Dee: Uh, I think that means Mac gets Charlie work, right Dennis?  
Mac: What! Dude that’s not fair!  
Dennis: Oh, definitely. You pay the price for high quality comedy.

[Mac Makes Amends.]  
[A Sunny Short.]  
[Truncated Theme Music.]

[Closing time.]  
[Mac is mopping out the bathroom.]  
Mac: Damn it Charlie.  
Dennis: And don’t forget the urinals, dude. See you later.  
Mac: You’re leaving? How am I supposed to get home?  
Dennis: Well you have two perfectly good legs there. You’ll figure it out.  
Mac: Damn it! [Throws down the mop.]  
[Thumps come from the vents.]  
Mac: Charlie?  
[Mac runs to the office. Charlie is crawling out of the vent.]  
Mac: Hey Charlie.  
Charlie: Oh, hey. [Looks disappointed.]  
Mac: So… how was the bad room?  
[Charlie shrugs. He goes to the small couch and curls up.]  
Mac: Dude you can’t sleep here.  
Charlie: Whatever, I got work to do.  
[So awkward.]  
Mac: I already did the Charlie work.  
Charlie: Oh.  
[Mac is puppy facing pretty hard.]  
Mac: Say, um… there’s… wait here.  
[Mac runs to the back storage room and pushes the rolling chalkboard out into the main room of the bar.]  
Mac: C’mon. [Grabs Charlie’s arm but Charlie pulls away.]  
Charlie: What do you want dude?  
Mac: [Huffs.] Just come on Charlie.  
[Mac guides Charlie in front of the chalkboard.]  
Charlie: What is this doing out here?  
Mac: We’re gonna spell your name, dude.  
Charlie: What?  
Mac: Just… let me do this okay? Here, I’ll do it first.  
[Mac quickly writes out ‘Charlie’ on the blackboard.]  
Mac: There.  
Charlie: And you’re not just making me spell something dumb like gerbil or fan, right?  
Mac: For the- I’m trying to help man!  
Charlie: Yeah well, maybe I don’t want it.  
Mac: Just take the damn chalk. [Shoves the piece in Charlie’s hand.]  
[Charlie stands in front of the board.]  
Mac: Well?  
Charlie: It’s way longer than cat.  
Mac: Not, not that long, dude. Here, let’s start.  
[Mac puts his right hand over Charlie’s and guides him through tracing over the letters.]  
Mac: There, see?  
Charlie: [Definitely confused.] Dude that was way too fast.  
Mac: Okay, okay fine. We’ll go slow.  
[Fade in and out of multiple attempts of Charlie spelling his name. Again Mac guides Charlie’s hand over the letters. They use the chalk sideways to make them thicker at one point.]

[Sunrise.]  
[Mac and Charlie are on the roof.]  
[Charlie is using colored chalk to write on the roof. He’s sloppily writing his name over and over.]  
Mac: [Sitting against the wall around the edge.] Are you gonna fill the whole roof dude?  
Charlie: I don’t wanna forget, dude.  
[There are a few creepy stick figure drawings peppered along with Charlie’s name. Mac doesn’t comment.]  
Mac: Sun’s almost up.  
Charlie: [Finally sets down the chalk and crawls over to sit by Mac.] Haven’t seen that in awhile.  
Mac: The sunrise? It’s kinda gay, watching the sunrise. And getting all emotional. Totally gay.  
Charlie: Who’s emotional?  
Mac: No one. But if they were they would totally be gay. [Hiding his eyes.]  
Charlie: Naw. I bet the sun just hurts. [Leans against Mac’s shoulder.] Thanks dude.  
Mac: [Puts an arm around Charlie.] No problem buddy.

**Author's Note:**

> So there's a book the Gang wrote and it's great but I can't help but think Charlie would get pissed if he found out Mac lied to him.


End file.
